Final Attempt Scrapbook
by ssfr
Summary: scraps of stories from various Final Attempt universe media, TV, newspaper, and film
1. 1992: CBS Winter Olympics Coverage

Crackle of static from an imperfect splice, then the picture clears.

A mostly anonymous female announcer chatters brightly in English about the upcoming competetion, commenting briefly on each pair of competitors.

' . . . And our most unexpected pair of competitors, Saotome Ranma, and her wife Ukyou.' The announcer pauses, and a faint intake of breath can be heard, 'CBS News was able to confirm the story, and obtain copies of the relevant documents.' She pauses again, 'The Saotomes have done very well, despite only having two months of formal training, with near-perfect scores on the technical routines. The artistic section looks very promising, if the footage we accidentally captured of their adopted daughter Makoto's routine is any indication. We have recieved permission to broadcast it, and will do so after this slight break.'

Another crackle, cutting from CBS's '92 olympic coverage eyecatch back to the eyecatch, then a different announcer, male, speaking over footage of a tall girl stepping out onto the ice, talking to three women, two of whom are taller than she, as she walks backward.

'This is Kino Makoto, the Saotomes' adopted daughter. She is not participating this year, but recieved permision to practice here. The song is "Godzilla" by the band "Blue Oyster Cult",' the announcer stumbles over both names, 'which, as you should be able to tell, is not the usual choice of material for,'

The announcer goes silent for a moment as Makoto settles into a pose. The opening chords of the song play softly, and she begins to move.

The announcer is silent for the first two thirds of the song, then, as the second chorus of 'Oh no/ there goes Tokeyo/go, go, Godzilla' finishes and Makoto lands her twelfth perfect quint-axle turn, begins speaking again.

'Makoto is thirteen years old, and has only been studying figure skating since last winter, when she was involved in a "Martial Arts Figure Skating" competition at her junior high school. Both Ukyou and Ranma are quite skilled in this esoteric art, and will be part of the demostration match next week.

'It was with grave difficulty that we obtained permission to show this footage, since none of her parents was at first willing. However Makoto eventually granted permision, which is why we are allowed to show this wonderful footage.' The announcer falls silent again. The song winds down and Makoto's spin drops slowly towards the ice, then, at the last moment, the music punches up, the singer yells 'Godzilla', the song ends, and Makoto lands, perfectly still, upright, and posed.

'Wow, let's look at those last few seconds again, in slow motion. As the last word begins, she actually dissapears from the camera's view. She says, and,' the main picture pauses, a sub-picture appearing and filling with the view from another camera, tightly focused on a section of the steel roof-supports, 'the evidence corraborates, that she shoved up with one hand, hit the roof skates first to kill momentum, then shoved back down towards the ice.' The inset picture tightens in on a pair of faint scratches, then disappears, as the main picuture resumes, not quite a second ticking by, then, her knees slightly bent, Makoto reappears, a few chips of ice slowly twirling through the air from where her skates are slightly embedded in the ice.

'Now, let's go over some of the other remarkable moments of this performance . . . ' the announcer proceeds to give the normal full-voiceover commentary on the entire performance, raving on about everything from the height of her jumps, nearly half a meter in almost all of the cases, the difficulty of her jumps, from the quad toe-loops to the quintuple axles, and wondering if the bar has not been permanently raised on all future competions.

After a bit he winds down, and the view shifts to a camera on Ranma, Ukyou, Kasumi, Makoto, and two young women who haven't been introduced, 'The final ordering for the pair figure competition has been announced, and our coverage will return after a few words from our sponsors,' the picture fades into the eyecatch.

—-  
log:  
1998: started thinking about these  
1999: decided on form, started reasearch  
2000 March 27: started writing  
2010 July 10: mauled for ff.n


	2. 1993: ABC Goodwill Games Coverage

(static, then an ABC Goodwill Games eyecatch)  
(the eyecatch fades into a sunny, snow covered New York City street. With a little bit of effort one can confirm that it's in Manhattan)

Reporter: We're here with Saotome Ranma, who's agreed to perform a feat of strength for us.

Ranma: You are going to cover the fallout, right?

Reporter: We'll cover any city fines, yes.

Ranma: And any hassling that comes of you broadcasting this.

Reporter: Yes.

Ranma: OK. Get the slow motion camera, at least 400:1, OK?

Reporter: Here comes Jim with it now.

(camera shifts off of the reporter and Ranma, the way it does revealing it to be a handheld)

Reporter: Let's just let Jim get set up.

(a minute and a half of setting up a tripod and adjusting the camera follow)

Jim: OK, it's ready.

Ranma(to Jim): Video or film?

Jim: Video.

Ranma: Run a second or two, just to be sure.

Jim(slightly surly): Yes.

(the camera shifts back to Ranma)

Ranma: I'm gonna be destroying city property here, don't want you to get too big of a fine.

Jim: OK, that's clean.

Ranma: focus on the parking meter, on three.

Jim: Gotcha.

Ranma: One.

(pause)

Ranma: Two.

(pause)

Ranma: Three.

(a loud, thudding CRACK! sounds, like a small artillery piece, followed instantly by a faint shush of feet in snow, the echo of the first crack, and then the faint rattle of coins in a metal container.

Ranma had turned into a black and red blur on three, and there is a small cloud of disturbed snow falling around her feet, and a parking meter head in her hands)

Reporter: I can't believe it. Or I can, because I just saw it, but I can't believe it.

(the reporter waves at the camera, and it shifts fully onto Ranma, while the reporter presumeably regains her composure)

Ranma: You didn't grow up around the crowd I did. Most of the difficulty was breaking it off without damaging it.

Reporter: Was the loud blam you hitting the parking meter?

Ranma: No, if I'da hit the meter it woulda been crushed. The blam was my foot going supersonic the moment before I hit the meter's pole.

Reporter: Supersonic? Nothing human could . . .

(Ranma shakes her head and interupts)

Ranma: Anyone, with enough training and practice, can. I've only been practicing for twenty years or so, and I'm still learning.

Reporter: If you say so.

Ranma: I do. May I keep this?

(Ranma brandishes the parking meter head)

Reporter: Sure.

(a quick cut to inside, a different reporter behind a desk speaking)

Reporter: Well, we presented that footage uncut and un-edited because we can hardly believe it ourselves. Following this short break, we'll be back with the slow motion footage, and several experts on the martial arts, all of whom assure me that what we just saw is completely impossible.

(eyecatch/splice/eyecatch)

(different room, with a round table, six fairly fit people in various clothing, Saotome Kasumi, a couple of people with the look of doctors, and the reporter from behind the desk)

Reporter: Joining us right now are:

(gestures to the man beside him to the right)

Reporter: James Smith of the New York Karate association.

(continues gesturing around the table, the camera following as each person is introduced)

Reporter: John Brown, a sensei at the Reliant Tae Kwan Do institute

(John makes a scowling face, but otherwise doesn't object to the mangling)

Reporter: Janine Krowici, an instructor with the Manhattan Women's Self Defense Project.

(Janine smiles at the camera)

Reporter: James Lee of Lee's Gung Foo

(James smiles, and waves a little)

Reporter: Dr. Theodore Roberts

(Theodore, the darkest-skinned person at the table, nods gravely)

Reporter: Dr. Marya LeFarge

(the slightly plump woman nods gravely)

Reporter: Saotome Kasumi, a student of her wife's school.

(Kasumi smiles, and a thump and rattle of something or something falling is heard from somewhere off camera)

Reporter: Li Wen, and his grandson Li Sai-Yuk, the current state champion.

(the old man smiles slightly, the young one more broadly.)

Reporter: We just watched the normal-speed footage.

(he turns from the camera to address the table)

Reporter: Does anyone have any idea how this could have been accomplished, or any other preliminary comments?

(Kasumi smiles, settling back a little bit in her chair)

Smith: It is completely impossible. No one can move that fast.

(Li Wen smiles, a faintly pitying look on his face)

Li Wen: It is entirely possible. I've only seen it once in my hundred and ten years as a martial artist, but it is quite possible.

Li Sai-Yuk: You're not going to dig out the story about the old woman who saved you from a mugging in Shanghai again, are you, old man?

Li Wen: Yes, I am. When I was a young man, before the Boxer Rebellion in China, I was in Shanghai. I was a bit of a ne'er do well, living day to day doing odd jobs for people of dubious reputation.

One day, in early fall, I had a little bit more than usual, and I, in the way of a young man, flashed it around, hoping to attract the attention of the young women. I primarily attracted the attention of a small gang of thugs, who cornered me in an alley.

Being young, I had much more bravado than sense, so I refused to hand over my little bit of cash.

Three of them pulled out guns, two revolvers and a single-shot pistol. The guy with the single-shot fired, and I threw myself on the ground and waited to die.

From the entrance to the alley an old woman yelled at them,

"You need guns to cope with a single unarmed non Martial Artist?" she taunted, and I looked up into the most astounding sight I've ever seen, a woman, not quite three feet tall, perched upon a small stick.

The two with revolvers started firing, all twelve shots in half as many seconds. One of them wasn't a very good shot, the bullets hitting the walls far from the woman, but the other was different. Her hand fluttered in front of her chest, as transparent as a hummingbird's wing as she ran forward, and I could see the bullets fall to the ground, but she never waivered.

By the time I had blinked again all of the thugs were on the ground, and and she was offering me a hand up.

She refused any thanks, saying that it was a martial artist's duty.

When I insisted she said that I could learn the Art, as best I could, and pass it on.

I never reached the level of perfection I saw that day, a hundred and ten years ago, but I have done my best, and hope I have attained a level she would be proud of.

Kasumi: I think Obaba would be proud. You are quite skilled for one who began learning so old.

Ranma is unwilling to admit to any limits, but by the time one has entered school most people have accepted that they exist. Until that can be forgotten one cannot reach the pinnacles of the Art.

Dr. LeFarge: How can anyone human take that kind of abuse? Is she some kind of mutant?

Kasumi: We all were tested before the Japanese Olympic committe put us on the team. All four of us are normal humans.

One can, after a certain amount of study, learn to manipulate one's life force for attack, defence, reinforcement, and rapid healing.

Here,

(Kasumi pulls a small knife out of nowhere, and draws the edge across the ball of her left thumb. There is a quick upwelling of blood, which fades to nothing before even Dr. LeFarge can get her hands on Kasumi's. Dr. LeFarge glances about quickly, and Kasumi hands her a clean white handkerchief.

Dr. LeFarge dabs gently at the wound, looking for the cut, and Dr. Roberts kneels down beside them.)

I'm just a beginner, but you will notice that the wound is already mostly healed, only the cut through the epidermis remaining.

Even for a skilled martial artist like Ranma hard tissue damage can take days to heal, however.

Dr. Roberts: This is utterly impossible. There is no evidence that this is a hoax, but it's impossible.

Janine: How long have you been studying?

Kasumi: I studied a little bit when I was a girl, but I gave up the Art for a while after my mother died. I didn't take up my studies again until I fell in love with my wives, about five years ago.

Janine: You only participate in the Ice Dance competitions, unlike your wives. I've wondered why ever since I first saw you perform.

Kasumi: I consider myself a non-violent person, and any figure practice that either of my wives participate in has a better than even chance of turning into a full-blown fight.

When we're doing ice dance we only have random attacks about one practice in seven.

Janine: Does your school have any students who could share your Art with my students?

Kasumi: We have a few students, but none of them are competent to teach yet.

If one can ignore his eccentricities Grandfather Happosai is a competent teacher.

Janine: What sort of eccentricity?

Kasumi: He likes to fondle people, and steal women's underwear. I think he enjoys the attention it gets him. Other than that he's pretty nice, with a soft spot a mile wide for the weak and disadvantaged.

Janine: Some of my students have, problems, that . . .

Kasumi: I've never known him to actually harm anyone.

Reporter: Well, that's about all of our time. We will have our slow motion footage right after this break.

(eyecatch/static)

—-  
log:  
2000/spring: plotted  
2000/Sept/21: written  
2010/July/10: mauled for ff.n


	3. 1994: NHK Interview with Admiral Kano

(spice-crackle)  
(NHK reporter talking to Admiral Kano Nagisa of the Ctholon militia)

NHK: What do you expect from this new Dark Kingdom?

KN: They are in a place very close to what we found ourselves in, back in 1986. They have a largely untrained populace, and very little in the way of a proper military, and no historic allies.

Like us, however, they have the backing of the Japanese government, and a distinct techological advantage.

NHK: Why is the Japanese government backing the Dark Kingdom?

KN: They want the trade considerations and technological transfer promised by King Serenity, as well as to be on the good side of the newest great power.

NHK: Great power?

KN: Yes. They are at a low ebb right now, but that is changing as we speak.

NHK: How is that?

KN: We sold them sixty-four of our F-16XL fighters, and loaned them maintenance personel and pilots until they can train their own people. They have several fighter designs in early production stages, but they have to build up from a non-industrial base.

Their Mercury Power Station is less than a tenth complete, but is already producing enough power every day to supply the United States for a year. They have the power and the skill to do whatever they want, and with our help, they have the personnel.

NHK: So, you trust them with your people?

KN: Yes. If the Japanese government hadn't helped us through the transisition, the entire world would have suffered for it.

Our technology has put humans and Ctholon both on the Moon, on Mars, and the beginnings of several bases in the asteroid belt.

This almost didn't happen, the Ctholon almost fled our space without a trace, and, if I'd been a little more dead, they would have.

Because I survived — stop me if you've heard this story too many times,

NHK: No, go ahead.

KN: They stayed. Or, more explicitly, she stayed, and the rest did because she did. Unfortunately, they had no idea how to run a government, or a proper military, and most of them were rather groggy from spending six hundred years or more in suspended animation.

After spending six weeks listening to the horrible bickering of the four big committees I appointed myself Admiral, at the ripe old age of sixteen, and took over formation of the Militia, with the Navy constituted as part of it.

That got rid of two of the committees, and left me to figure out what to do about the fact that we had a military consisting of ninety warriors, thirty-two giant robots, of which twenty four needed repair and eighteen of those ended up being dismantled for spares, sixty fighters, and one capital ship.

As you know, we've managed to pull things together since then, and the remaining two committees paused their bickering long enough to appoint Prima Chancellor, and tell her to keep things under control until they could figure out what to do.

NHK: Which they never did.

KN: Actually, they have. About a year ago, they layed down a method to choose a new Chancellor, and ones to protest our actions, and then said that we should continue as we had, since we'd been doing OK so far.

Ctholon society has always been quite maternal, and they've appointed us to the role, and expect us to listen to the grandmothers. It generally works out.

NHK: What can you tell us about King Serenity and her court?

KN: They're good people, they're very young, and they will make mistakes.

Within ten years, they will have changed the entire face of the world.

NHK: Will that be a good thing?

KN: I have no doubt.

(splice-crackle)

log:  
started 2001 Jan 19  
2010/Jul/10: mauled for ff.n


	4. 1994: CNN Winter Olympics Coverage

(Olympic overview, CNN Headline News, about the 1994 winter games)

'Well, the results this time astounded all of our experts.

(switch to footage of the opening ceremonies)

'The Japanese team was expected to do well, having the unmistakable advantage known as Saotome Ranma again participating in an even half-dozen events.

(footage of the Japan-Dark Kindom team entering the Olympic arena)

'Their choice to field a combined team with the Dark Kingdom turned the tables entirely in their favor, with a Japan-Dark Kingdom team member medaling in each event.

(footage from Saotome Ranma's technical performance in women's figure)

'Saotome Ranma took six medals, two gold, three silver, and a bronze.

(footage from Saotome Ranma and Saotome Ukyou's artistic performance in pair figure)

'Saotome Ukyou took three, a silver and two bronze.

(footage from Kino Makoto's technical performance, men's figure)

'Kino Makoto took two gold in figure skating, both the women's and the men's.

(footage from Tanya Harding's technical performance, women's figure)

'Tanya Harding, who joined the Dark Kingdom team after the 1993 Goodwill games, took the silver, managing to land a quintuple axle in this competion.

(footage from Tsukino Usagi's artistic performance, women's figure)

'A relative newcomer, Tsukino Usagi, took the bronze in women's figure skating, with a performance that would have merited a gold in any normal competion.

'The entire Japanese-Dark Kingdom team performed to a superhuman level, which is only to be expected in some cases, since several of the Dark Kingdom athletes are not human.

(footage of Nostat, a hulking, scaled figure almost two and a half meters tall, bending to accept the gold for men's speed skating)

'The most obvious of them in these games, Nostat, took a bronze in speed-skating.'

(footage of grey-haired people sitting around a table, several standing, one waving their hands emphaticly)

'The governing council is still trying to decide if they will accept King Serenity's word on the gender of Dark Kingdom athletes in the future, and whether to bar female athletes from competing in the men's events.

—-  
log:  
this part written 2000/Sept/19  
ed 2001/Jan/19  
2010/Jul/10: mauled for ff.n


	5. 1994: CNN Bosnian War Coverage

(transcript of CNN report on 1994/Sept/12)

In other news, King Serenity has intervened in Sarejevo, ordering a cesation of hostilities.

At the same time that a Dark Kingdom ambassador delivered a writen ultimatum to the Serbian government, she manifested a larger-than-life image of herself over Sarejevo, speaking in English with subtitles in all three of the local major languages.

(the screen shifts to footage shot from the hills overlooking Sarejevo. A giant image appears, a somber expression on the face of the short-haired woman in a grey uniform with black piping.)

This,

(a hand reaches up into view, and waves towards the hills)

Is unacceptable. The hostilities will cease, or I will take action.

(behind the image thin trails of smoke appear)

I would suggest putting a decent amount of space between yourselves and your ammunition dumps. You have two minutes.

(the subtitles stay for two minutes, then another set of smoke trails appear, each grounded in a fairly large explosion)

(the screen shifts back to the reporter)

Our sources have no explanation for any part of the events around Sarejevo, but speculate that the smoke trails may have been caused by some sort of weapon system on some of the satellites the Dark Kingdom have placed into orbit.

Since their emergence late last year, the Dark Kingdom has launched thousands of satelites, ranging from the multi-hundred tonne 'Thor' observatories to the twenty-gram 'Small Cleaners.'

The 'Cleaners' have gathered over two thousand tracked objects from orbit, and the Dark Kingdom reports having collected over a hundred thousand smaller objects, ranging from paint chips to small bolt fragments.

The Dark Kingdom has told CNN that the method used to destroy the gun emplacements and ammunition dumps around Sarejevo will not be discussed at this time, but that a public announcement will be made before the end of next year.

The Serbian government has yet to respond.

—-  
log:  
this part plotted 2000/Sept  
this part written 2000/Sept/19  
ed 2001/Jan/19  
2010/Jul/10: tiny edit, mauled for ff.n


End file.
